Disclaimer: HypnoBirthing is a childbirth technique that you can use no matter where you choose to birth. We do not teach or advocate unassisted home births but we respect the fact that every mother has the right to choose how she wants to birth.
Komal's and Sashi's Dream Birth
Happy Family
This is not accidental. Me and hubby had planned to have an Aquarian baby. So May was the perfect month to get things done ;) We got married in November 2012 after a courtship of 4 years (1.5 years online long distance relationship). As we approached May 2013 we knew the time is here, we were mentally and physically ready to have our first child. The first step into entering parenting. We got blessed as I realised my first EVER missed period in June. We were on the top of the world when we knew that my due date would be 14th Feb 2014 (Awesome date) What could be better than a baby of Love born on the day of LOVE!
I was in India for my cousin's wedding in May and I took up the opportunity to detox my body with fresh fruit juices, healthy vege diet, wholesome home cooked food and plenty of rest and laughter. Only after i returned to KL in June and took a home pregnancy test, I realised this was it! I immediately quit my job that I had gotten just about 2 months ago... hehe This was because I had always loved the thought of being pregnant and now that I was blessed I wanted to cherish each and everyday of it without any negativity, tension etc around me and my baby. Hubby has been working at home as a freelancer since 2011... So we were now a complete family at home... Together all the time.
Now, although I loved being pregnant; there was always this one thought that lingered in my mind, something that was told to me by my mom when I was a little girl – EPISIOTOMY! :O I did not want anyone cutting me just to deliver my baby :(( Since childhood I have stayed far away from medicines and over-the-counter drugs. I have this ability to heal naturally (actually everyone has it, they have all just forgotten or have no time to let the body heal) So being that kind of a person, how was I to allow a beautiful thing like giving birth become a trauma for me?
I spoke about natural birth and my aversion to western medication with my hubby and surprisingly he agreed to every bit of what I said :D :D :D However, as he had never heard or thought of birth unassisted by a medical professional he was a little concerned about how to go forward. Yes the thought of complications during birth did occur to both of us, as I am a petite (145cm and 39kg) person and he is a GIANT(180cm and 70kg)! Haha! We anticipated our baby to be big size. But both of us agreed upon taking the risk and owning the birth of our precious little one.
Now, the question was, how to do it. We were hard headed, but not empowered by the knowledge, which constantly brought in fear and worry. We talked to friends, family doctor (could not consult with own family, you know why... haha!) but never got any support, instead we were laughed upon. Seeing people ridiculing our decision made us even more determined to prove them wrong. But our hearts still wanted at least that one person who would say “Yes! That is how it was always meant to be”.
Our hunt moved on to the internet. Finally the door of light opened up on babycenter.com where we read about doulas and midwives attending home births. We found our angel! Nadine Ghows. We wrote an e-mail to her asking for help, she guided us to join the FB – The Gentle Birthing Group. Ah! My Haven, my Saviour, my Alma Mater. I love this group like none other. So grateful to the people who shared their stories publicly just to motivate and support people who think like me. Great source of information.
And now, we were hard headed with the knowledge. There was no turning back. The goal seemed much more clearer and achievable.
But then, a thought struck us. We felt like we should at least meet an eastern doctor to ensure that I am in the best of my health and take necessary natural supplements if required. However, that was the worst decision we made during the whole nine months. The doctor gave us the fear of losing our baby due to our 'bad' way of life. I was just 18 weeks during that time and was forced to go to a western doctor to ensure our health was fine. That was the one and only formal check-up that we had done throughout pregnancy. It involved a 2d detailed scan which showed my baby was all fine and healthy.
All said and done, since our baby was growing fine, we knew we had no one in the medical field to trust. Our next target was to fine a doula or a midwife to attend the birth. We failed terribly at that too as not many were willing to attend a homebirth. Then came the Mom & Baby Expo at KLCC, where we met with the wonderful human-being and my hypnobirthing trainer, Ms. Ng Bee Ting. We also met the other super-heroes (Danielle Sweetman & Nadd) during the fair.
The hypnobirthing class helped us practically with the relaxation scripts and breathing techniques as well other knowledge required to have a calm, peaceful and gentle birth. So, this is how I successfully reached 38 weeks 2 days, i.e 31st January 2014. At sharp 12am, I had my first show, and the mucus plug came right up. I was so very excited as I knew this was it and my baby is coming soon. We had been keeping a count of my surges since 2 weeks ago, but today it reached to the maximum of 121 surges. I couldn't time my surges due to the excitement and they were not following any pattern as well. Hubby started preparing the pool, clearing the camera and keeping the hospital bag ready, just in case.
We had been talking to the baby and telling him the dates that we preferred him to come earthside, 31st was one of the dates that we were not happy about. However, we were ready to welcome the baby no matter which date he picked. The waiting game had started.
Throughout the pregnancy, I was able to sleep without much discomfort, but today felt very different. Bee Ting as well as Wai Han kept asking us to go sleep but we couldn't! The surges were growing intense and I could not lie down. Hubby kept massaging me and did light touch to keep me peaceful and smiling. That made me relaxed till I fell asleep sitting upright. I was wearing an adult diaper as preparation / precautionary measure in case my membrane releases (water breaks).
After a few hour being in that position, I tried to lie down and sleep. YES!! I could. I managed to get some sleep. I was not very deep in sleep when I heard 'POP' sound and felt wet down there. I was sure I was not peeing, so this was it! I woke my hubby up, and rushed to the toilet since I didn't know how much the diaper could contain. However, it was not a big leak. I always kept a positive mindset with regards to everything during this pregnant phase (a few exceptions were there) but I knew despite the leak, my baby was safe and had sufficient water to survive until he came out. This had happened around 8:30 am on 31st Jan.
I was in India for my cousin's wedding in May and I took up the opportunity to detox my body with fresh fruit juices, healthy vege diet, wholesome home cooked food and plenty of rest and laughter. Only after i returned to KL in June and took a home pregnancy test, I realised this was it! I immediately quit my job that I had gotten just about 2 months ago... hehe This was because I had always loved the thought of being pregnant and now that I was blessed I wanted to cherish each and everyday of it without any negativity, tension etc around me and my baby. Hubby has been working at home as a freelancer since 2011... So we were now a complete family at home... Together all the time.
Now, although I loved being pregnant; there was always this one thought that lingered in my mind, something that was told to me by my mom when I was a little girl – EPISIOTOMY! :O I did not want anyone cutting me just to deliver my baby :(( Since childhood I have stayed far away from medicines and over-the-counter drugs. I have this ability to heal naturally (actually everyone has it, they have all just forgotten or have no time to let the body heal) So being that kind of a person, how was I to allow a beautiful thing like giving birth become a trauma for me?
I spoke about natural birth and my aversion to western medication with my hubby and surprisingly he agreed to every bit of what I said :D :D :D However, as he had never heard or thought of birth unassisted by a medical professional he was a little concerned about how to go forward. Yes the thought of complications during birth did occur to both of us, as I am a petite (145cm and 39kg) person and he is a GIANT(180cm and 70kg)! Haha! We anticipated our baby to be big size. But both of us agreed upon taking the risk and owning the birth of our precious little one.
Now, the question was, how to do it. We were hard headed, but not empowered by the knowledge, which constantly brought in fear and worry. We talked to friends, family doctor (could not consult with own family, you know why... haha!) but never got any support, instead we were laughed upon. Seeing people ridiculing our decision made us even more determined to prove them wrong. But our hearts still wanted at least that one person who would say “Yes! That is how it was always meant to be”.
Our hunt moved on to the internet. Finally the door of light opened up on babycenter.com where we read about doulas and midwives attending home births. We found our angel! Nadine Ghows. We wrote an e-mail to her asking for help, she guided us to join the FB – The Gentle Birthing Group. Ah! My Haven, my Saviour, my Alma Mater. I love this group like none other. So grateful to the people who shared their stories publicly just to motivate and support people who think like me. Great source of information.
And now, we were hard headed with the knowledge. There was no turning back. The goal seemed much more clearer and achievable.
But then, a thought struck us. We felt like we should at least meet an eastern doctor to ensure that I am in the best of my health and take necessary natural supplements if required. However, that was the worst decision we made during the whole nine months. The doctor gave us the fear of losing our baby due to our 'bad' way of life. I was just 18 weeks during that time and was forced to go to a western doctor to ensure our health was fine. That was the one and only formal check-up that we had done throughout pregnancy. It involved a 2d detailed scan which showed my baby was all fine and healthy.
All said and done, since our baby was growing fine, we knew we had no one in the medical field to trust. Our next target was to fine a doula or a midwife to attend the birth. We failed terribly at that too as not many were willing to attend a homebirth. Then came the Mom & Baby Expo at KLCC, where we met with the wonderful human-being and my hypnobirthing trainer, Ms. Ng Bee Ting. We also met the other super-heroes (Danielle Sweetman & Nadd) during the fair.
The hypnobirthing class helped us practically with the relaxation scripts and breathing techniques as well other knowledge required to have a calm, peaceful and gentle birth. So, this is how I successfully reached 38 weeks 2 days, i.e 31st January 2014. At sharp 12am, I had my first show, and the mucus plug came right up. I was so very excited as I knew this was it and my baby is coming soon. We had been keeping a count of my surges since 2 weeks ago, but today it reached to the maximum of 121 surges. I couldn't time my surges due to the excitement and they were not following any pattern as well. Hubby started preparing the pool, clearing the camera and keeping the hospital bag ready, just in case.
We had been talking to the baby and telling him the dates that we preferred him to come earthside, 31st was one of the dates that we were not happy about. However, we were ready to welcome the baby no matter which date he picked. The waiting game had started.
Throughout the pregnancy, I was able to sleep without much discomfort, but today felt very different. Bee Ting as well as Wai Han kept asking us to go sleep but we couldn't! The surges were growing intense and I could not lie down. Hubby kept massaging me and did light touch to keep me peaceful and smiling. That made me relaxed till I fell asleep sitting upright. I was wearing an adult diaper as preparation / precautionary measure in case my membrane releases (water breaks).
After a few hour being in that position, I tried to lie down and sleep. YES!! I could. I managed to get some sleep. I was not very deep in sleep when I heard 'POP' sound and felt wet down there. I was sure I was not peeing, so this was it! I woke my hubby up, and rushed to the toilet since I didn't know how much the diaper could contain. However, it was not a big leak. I always kept a positive mindset with regards to everything during this pregnant phase (a few exceptions were there) but I knew despite the leak, my baby was safe and had sufficient water to survive until he came out. This had happened around 8:30 am on 31st Jan.
Beautifully relaxed during labor
I was busy cleaning myself up and hubby did not waste a single second. He started boiling water in 3 different pots to fill up the pool. Although he was tired and sleepy from last night, he remembered to keep me full and hydrated. We kept munching on fruits, dry fruits etc., and I continued gulping down water while sitting and relaxing in the warm water hubby had prepared for me. Thank you darling! I will never forget all the help you rendered. Love you more and more each day :* muuaahh!
The surges had taken a new form of strength and intensity. But they subsided or should I say eased out as I sat relaxed in the water. Hubby playing my selected spiritual songs to make the environment positive and calm. I have always imagined birthing post-midnight, due to the silence and peacefulness at night. I could see two of my wishes were not being granted; birth date and time. Anyway, I was still excited to just meet my baby!
I could feel the labor pausing as the intensity of the surges reduced. I could see some membranes being released while I was still in the pool. When I could not feel the surges anymore, I decided to get out from the pool and relax. I wanted the labor to progress slowly at its own pace with no intention of inducing or rushing the birth of my baby.
Hubby prepared lunch and fed me. Post-lunch when hubby see no progress, he insisted that I should sleep. He too was tired and dozed off in the hall right beside me. I sat in the corner with the help of walls behind me and fell asleep. The day just went by with surges on and off, but nothing ever happens, and I wonder...
We had our dinner at around 8pm and hubby got me coconut water which I truly cherished and I kept practising relaxation and calm breathing learnt in the HypnoBirthing class. Then the surges built up very close to each other around 10pm and it was really intense this time. At the back of my mind, I knew that I should be active and keep moving around, but just sitting there and relaxing felt much better. I got up once in a while to take a short walk and rock my pelvis which was comforting too. Hubby did not leave my side for a single minute. He kept on massaging me and gave me the light touch therapy and I kept dozing off every now and then.
At around 11.30pm, I had this sudden urge to bear down. I thought this was the call for #2 and tried for a couple of time, but nada. Hubby insisted that I should not take so many rounds to the toilet as it might exert / strain me. He said if it's so urgent, just do it in the diaper. Ewww, yucks! but okay.
I was not able to sleep after this and decided to do enema and clear my system as it felt so uncomfortable not knowing what wants to come out. As soon as I went to the toilet, hubby prepared the pool once again. Hahaha! This was the third attempt to achieve my birth in water. I swayed my hip for a while and used the birthing ball to relax with each surge. This was past 12am. Yippie!! It's no longer 31st January and it's midnight too! :DDD
I entered the pool happily and sat there waiting for my baby as hubby fills up the water slowly. It has been a very long day, but none of us were at all worried about the well-being of the baby. We knew for sure he was doing fine. We kept talking to him telling him to be ready for the finale where he can meet his mummy and daddy finally after a long wait. We also thanked him for waiting until past 31st January. I closed my eyes breathing with each surge and hubby turned on the Rainbow Relaxation CD which just annoyed me at that moment. I guess I might have been in the transition phase or something during that time. So, we switched back to the spiritual song list. Although we have been enjoying this phase of labor, it was more than 24 hours already and we were getting tired, both of us. We wanted this to end soon so that we can rest with our newborn baby. Hubby kept pouring water on my back and stomach which eased out all the trouble. He even kept boiling more water to keep the water temperature consistent, which is a challenge during midnight.
I felt a strong stretching down there and I asked him to enter the pool. I could feel the baby's head with my hand!!! When I told him, he was like HUH?!? “Feel feel or touch feel?” I replied, “Touch Feel!! Or at least that is what I think I touched. Our baby is almost here!!! YIPPIE!” Hubby tried to look down, but he couldn't see anything. When I tried to touch, yup he was not there any more. I remembered from Bee Ting's class that the baby will make an easy exit by going in and out to avoid bad tearing for the mommy. How sweet of him to be so thoughtful from the very beginning... This continued for a little bit, until I felt the ring of fire!!! He was crowning and yes hubby could see the head.
I had started breathing through my mouth, and hubby did not want to disturb me. At the same time, he also remembered that it would be unproductive if I kept breathing through my mouth. In order for me to realise that, he started to do the J-breathing in front of me without saying a word. Instinctively, I started following his breathing pattern and closed my mouth. My heart felt so happy that hubby was always by my side helping me breathe our baby down. I kept breathing with each surge and asking hubby to confirm if the head is out. After about 5 confirmations, the head was STILL COMING out. Until my hubby was not sure if it was the head or it's a hairy placenta that was coming out! LOL. Although it sounds funny now, it was a pretty confusing moment for both of us.
My surges had spaced out by now, I guess the body knew I needed some rest. Well yes, it is tiring to unfocus yet concentrate ;) hahaha. After a little bit of relaxation, I felt a good surge building up within me... I kinda knew that this will do the job, at least for the head. And YES!!! I was right. When I reached down I could feel his tiny slimy face... oops here comes another surge and Zoopp! Slides out my little boy, straight in the water, floating and none of us actually held him that time. He floated to the top all blue with eyes wide open.
The surges had taken a new form of strength and intensity. But they subsided or should I say eased out as I sat relaxed in the water. Hubby playing my selected spiritual songs to make the environment positive and calm. I have always imagined birthing post-midnight, due to the silence and peacefulness at night. I could see two of my wishes were not being granted; birth date and time. Anyway, I was still excited to just meet my baby!
I could feel the labor pausing as the intensity of the surges reduced. I could see some membranes being released while I was still in the pool. When I could not feel the surges anymore, I decided to get out from the pool and relax. I wanted the labor to progress slowly at its own pace with no intention of inducing or rushing the birth of my baby.
Hubby prepared lunch and fed me. Post-lunch when hubby see no progress, he insisted that I should sleep. He too was tired and dozed off in the hall right beside me. I sat in the corner with the help of walls behind me and fell asleep. The day just went by with surges on and off, but nothing ever happens, and I wonder...
We had our dinner at around 8pm and hubby got me coconut water which I truly cherished and I kept practising relaxation and calm breathing learnt in the HypnoBirthing class. Then the surges built up very close to each other around 10pm and it was really intense this time. At the back of my mind, I knew that I should be active and keep moving around, but just sitting there and relaxing felt much better. I got up once in a while to take a short walk and rock my pelvis which was comforting too. Hubby did not leave my side for a single minute. He kept on massaging me and gave me the light touch therapy and I kept dozing off every now and then.
At around 11.30pm, I had this sudden urge to bear down. I thought this was the call for #2 and tried for a couple of time, but nada. Hubby insisted that I should not take so many rounds to the toilet as it might exert / strain me. He said if it's so urgent, just do it in the diaper. Ewww, yucks! but okay.
I was not able to sleep after this and decided to do enema and clear my system as it felt so uncomfortable not knowing what wants to come out. As soon as I went to the toilet, hubby prepared the pool once again. Hahaha! This was the third attempt to achieve my birth in water. I swayed my hip for a while and used the birthing ball to relax with each surge. This was past 12am. Yippie!! It's no longer 31st January and it's midnight too! :DDD
I entered the pool happily and sat there waiting for my baby as hubby fills up the water slowly. It has been a very long day, but none of us were at all worried about the well-being of the baby. We knew for sure he was doing fine. We kept talking to him telling him to be ready for the finale where he can meet his mummy and daddy finally after a long wait. We also thanked him for waiting until past 31st January. I closed my eyes breathing with each surge and hubby turned on the Rainbow Relaxation CD which just annoyed me at that moment. I guess I might have been in the transition phase or something during that time. So, we switched back to the spiritual song list. Although we have been enjoying this phase of labor, it was more than 24 hours already and we were getting tired, both of us. We wanted this to end soon so that we can rest with our newborn baby. Hubby kept pouring water on my back and stomach which eased out all the trouble. He even kept boiling more water to keep the water temperature consistent, which is a challenge during midnight.
I felt a strong stretching down there and I asked him to enter the pool. I could feel the baby's head with my hand!!! When I told him, he was like HUH?!? “Feel feel or touch feel?” I replied, “Touch Feel!! Or at least that is what I think I touched. Our baby is almost here!!! YIPPIE!” Hubby tried to look down, but he couldn't see anything. When I tried to touch, yup he was not there any more. I remembered from Bee Ting's class that the baby will make an easy exit by going in and out to avoid bad tearing for the mommy. How sweet of him to be so thoughtful from the very beginning... This continued for a little bit, until I felt the ring of fire!!! He was crowning and yes hubby could see the head.
I had started breathing through my mouth, and hubby did not want to disturb me. At the same time, he also remembered that it would be unproductive if I kept breathing through my mouth. In order for me to realise that, he started to do the J-breathing in front of me without saying a word. Instinctively, I started following his breathing pattern and closed my mouth. My heart felt so happy that hubby was always by my side helping me breathe our baby down. I kept breathing with each surge and asking hubby to confirm if the head is out. After about 5 confirmations, the head was STILL COMING out. Until my hubby was not sure if it was the head or it's a hairy placenta that was coming out! LOL. Although it sounds funny now, it was a pretty confusing moment for both of us.
My surges had spaced out by now, I guess the body knew I needed some rest. Well yes, it is tiring to unfocus yet concentrate ;) hahaha. After a little bit of relaxation, I felt a good surge building up within me... I kinda knew that this will do the job, at least for the head. And YES!!! I was right. When I reached down I could feel his tiny slimy face... oops here comes another surge and Zoopp! Slides out my little boy, straight in the water, floating and none of us actually held him that time. He floated to the top all blue with eyes wide open.
Million dollar smile right before baby K arrives
Wow, he is here.... he is with us... ALREADY!!! hahaha. What a moment!!!
Hubby noticed that the cord was wrapped around his neck and had made 2 twists. We knew we should get it out, but how??? The cord was too short to just unwrap... so I held the baby and swirled him around twice. He was now free and out of water. He let out a snorting sound 2-3 times. I thought he might not cry (just like the other few hypnobirthing babies) but to our surprise, he let out a loud squeaky cry.... ooo but that was just so beautiful. Oh yeah, not to forget about the head confusion... He looked like a species from outer space with his elongated double head. YES you read that right, Double bumped Head. This is the closest image I could find on the Internet, we could not take any photos during this time:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bLJ1c5k7psc/T5k9lqTK1tI/AAAAAAAAAH4/US56egiKeqY/s400/cap.JPG
We were terrified by the look of it, but did not want to ruin the moment of peace and love. We thought it was a permanent thing... and accepted it as it was. I held him in my arms for the first time and gave him a warm hug. He stopped crying and stared at me for a while. I tried to nurse him, but he did not want to suckle just yet... we wrapped him in a towel and waited for my placenta to be born. It was not long before I got another mild surge and felt a piece of meat (LOL) hanging half way. While rubbing the vernix onto my little boys' skin I washed his meconium away and waited for the next surge to complete the birth of the placenta. Within minutes it was out without any discomfort, it was intact in one piece. What a beauty!!! The birth of my baby was complete with peace, pain-free, drug-free and in the environment of love and MAGIC!
Hubby was delighted to meet his little champion. I handed the baby to him and held the placenta carefully in my hands washing excessive blood and blood clots off it. There you go, we had our first home-water-lotus birth with NO interventions of any kind from the very beginning. Be it assessments, blood tests, urine tests, supplements, etc etc etc... I had none of those what-so-ever! So pleased with this miraculous body that the existence has provided us with. I think I had a third degree tear, but I did not go to any clinic or hospital post birth and hence there were no stitches to close the wound.
With the trust in nature's cure and motivation from Sifu Soo Wai Han & Ng Bee Ting I just stayed at home with my legs closed ;) and kept clean. In order to stop the bleeding from the wound and avoid septic I used a mixture of turmeric and coconut oil on a cotton padding. To gain my energy and heal wounds I consumed chicken essence, fish essence, Yun Nan Bai Yao and red dates water. Within 2 months all my wounds were healed and there was no trace of discomfort or scar (oh and BTW, I did not get any stretch marks either :D )
I wish all the birthing mothers ALL THE VERY BEST. All I can say is: trust in your body and nature's creation is the most essential part of living healthily. Our body talks to us, we just have to listen and understand. God Bless one and all.
Lotus birth of Baby K