Cheryl's "I Can Do It" HypnoBirth
Introduction
All praise and glory to God and dear Mama Mary for whom none of this would be possible.
To Ben, my lover and life partner, thank you for sharing with me the gift of our second daughter, Eleanor Grace.
My utmost gratitude to Sha Sha who first introduced me to HypnoBirthing (HB), to Bee Ting for changing my life, to Dr. Nicholas for honoring my Birth Plan and all the caregivers of Columbia Asia Petaling Jaya and KKIA AU2 for your dedication and support.
All praise and glory to God and dear Mama Mary for whom none of this would be possible.
To Ben, my lover and life partner, thank you for sharing with me the gift of our second daughter, Eleanor Grace.
My utmost gratitude to Sha Sha who first introduced me to HypnoBirthing (HB), to Bee Ting for changing my life, to Dr. Nicholas for honoring my Birth Plan and all the caregivers of Columbia Asia Petaling Jaya and KKIA AU2 for your dedication and support.
Why HypnoBirthing?
I, like many women I know, am shaped by Hollywood, my mother and modern medicine: Birth = Pain + Drama.
Both my first and second births were natural, free of epidural and laughing gas. However, they were not gentle births and I felt I had no control over all that happened in the labour room. This really bothered the control freak within me. My first birth, at a private hospital, was induced without any medical need. The vaginal exams (VEs) were unceremonious and painful. The hospital staff blundered about and seemed dispassionate about their work. My son was vacuumed out into the world. Skin-to-skin bonding was barely 10 seconds.
During my second birth at a government hospital, nobody explained to me what was going on, why a certain procedure had to be done, who they were and why were they touching me etc. I had a roomful of spectators (read: housemen) and a cheering squad (“Push! Push!”) who were partly responsible for my glorious perineal tear, the traumatic stitching and my subsequent uterine prolapse. Also, Ben was denied the honour of cutting baby’s cord (it went to a houseman instead) and got shooed out of the room within 5 minutes after my delivery.
So when Sha Sha told me about orgasmic births (“I just breathed out my baby”), I was skeptical and intrigued. What happened to all that pain and drama we have come to expect during childbirth? Sha Sha suggested I Googled up HypnoBirthing which led me to Wai Han and she led me to Bee Ting. Attending Bee Ting’s classes was such an educational and empowering experience for Ben and I. The fear release sessions (group and private) really helped banish my labour and parenting fears. The wisdom I gained from Bee Ting is something I will cherish eternally.
Preparations
With baby no.3 being a well-researched baby, I felt more confident in achieving a calm and gentle natural birth. I read the HB book twice; came up with a Birth Plan and found a doctor who championed HypnoBirthing; listened to the Rainbow Relaxation CD; did the visualizations and practiced my breathing.
From Week 35 onwards, I added on perineal massages; drank organic raspberry leaves tea and coconut water; and ate lots of ice-cream and durian (because those would definitely not be included in my confinement diet). I also scheduled myself some downtime, which included learning up about lotus births and the benefits of placenta.
During my check-up on Week 39, Dr. Nick said that baby would unlikely arrive within the next 4 days. He suggested sex and squats to induce labour naturally. So I waited. Continued going to work. Talked to baby to come out soon. One night shortly after some love-making, my birth show came.
I, like many women I know, am shaped by Hollywood, my mother and modern medicine: Birth = Pain + Drama.
Both my first and second births were natural, free of epidural and laughing gas. However, they were not gentle births and I felt I had no control over all that happened in the labour room. This really bothered the control freak within me. My first birth, at a private hospital, was induced without any medical need. The vaginal exams (VEs) were unceremonious and painful. The hospital staff blundered about and seemed dispassionate about their work. My son was vacuumed out into the world. Skin-to-skin bonding was barely 10 seconds.
During my second birth at a government hospital, nobody explained to me what was going on, why a certain procedure had to be done, who they were and why were they touching me etc. I had a roomful of spectators (read: housemen) and a cheering squad (“Push! Push!”) who were partly responsible for my glorious perineal tear, the traumatic stitching and my subsequent uterine prolapse. Also, Ben was denied the honour of cutting baby’s cord (it went to a houseman instead) and got shooed out of the room within 5 minutes after my delivery.
So when Sha Sha told me about orgasmic births (“I just breathed out my baby”), I was skeptical and intrigued. What happened to all that pain and drama we have come to expect during childbirth? Sha Sha suggested I Googled up HypnoBirthing which led me to Wai Han and she led me to Bee Ting. Attending Bee Ting’s classes was such an educational and empowering experience for Ben and I. The fear release sessions (group and private) really helped banish my labour and parenting fears. The wisdom I gained from Bee Ting is something I will cherish eternally.
Preparations
With baby no.3 being a well-researched baby, I felt more confident in achieving a calm and gentle natural birth. I read the HB book twice; came up with a Birth Plan and found a doctor who championed HypnoBirthing; listened to the Rainbow Relaxation CD; did the visualizations and practiced my breathing.
From Week 35 onwards, I added on perineal massages; drank organic raspberry leaves tea and coconut water; and ate lots of ice-cream and durian (because those would definitely not be included in my confinement diet). I also scheduled myself some downtime, which included learning up about lotus births and the benefits of placenta.
During my check-up on Week 39, Dr. Nick said that baby would unlikely arrive within the next 4 days. He suggested sex and squats to induce labour naturally. So I waited. Continued going to work. Talked to baby to come out soon. One night shortly after some love-making, my birth show came.
The Birthing Day
I discovered I was bleeding around midnight. I calmly went to bed as there were no surges yet. Around 1.30am, the surges became strong and frequent enough to wake me up. “This is it!” I thought. When the surges were 5 minutes apart, I nudged Ben up. “Get ready to head to the hospital,” I whispered. As we walked out the front door, Ben praised himself for being so calm. (Ben, self praise is no praise). As for me, I was in meditation mode, observing the thoughts floating in my head: “The children will finally see their little brother/sister today! How exciting! Oh, oh, a surge is coming. Breathe… OK. Drink some water now.”
A Quiet Wait
At around 3am, I checked in at the hospital. Took a wee and got settled in the labour room. Ben reminded the nurses on duty of our Birth Plan. They kindly went through the plan with us.
They then connected me to the fetal monitor and timed my surges. Apparently this was a necessary procedure before they called the doctor. 4 surges within 10 minutes. Wonderful! Maybe baby will come out within an hour. (This expectation was built in as my second child was birthed within 2 hours after my birth show).
But with every half an hour of intermittent monitoring, the surges became less frequent, though more intense.
Hubby kept me hydrated and fed me some of the fruits and nuts mix we had brought along with us. He tried humoring me with lame jokes. He held my hand for comfort. Massaged me. I appreciated his efforts. But I was too focused on the sensations in my body to reward him with a smile or a word.
At 4.30am, the nurse did my first VE as instructed by the doctor. Curious, I asked how dilated I was. 4-5cm, she replied.
I asked when the doctor would be in. Around 9am, she said.
I started losing count of the hours that went by. Drifted in and out of deep relaxation as I continued listening to Rainbow Relaxation. I breathed through each surge, visualizing that they were bringing baby closer to me. Then at one point I thought - To hell with whatever this lady (Marie Mongan) is saying! Gimme epidural!!! It was a battle of the mind. I reminded myself to let nature unfold itself. I visualized a birthing giraffe in the African Savannah (A scene from a BBC documentary not long ago. It was so beautiful, I cried). If a giraffe can safely birth, alone, why not I, a human being, more superior in the mind than other creatures on earth?
At 6.30am, another VE was done. 7cm dilated. It seemed that this would take longer than expected. So I went for another wee.
A new shift came at 7am. The nurse, Natasha, was really nice and she coached me to breathe through my surges. I asked her if she reckoned baby will come soon.
“Do you feel like you want to poop?”
“Mm..Not really. Only when the surges come,” I answered. Which meant baby was not ready to come out yet.
At 8.50am, Dr. Nick came by. Wow. Has it already been 9 hours since my birth show? I wanted to use the birthing ball in the room to get into a more comfortable position. But doctor said that baby’s position was low already. He suggested walking or taking a wee instead. But when I sat on the toilet bowl, I felt like pooping! Baby was just there at the entrance! A nurse helped me back to the bed. Dr. Nick asked if he could do a VE. 10cm. Alleluia!
I discovered I was bleeding around midnight. I calmly went to bed as there were no surges yet. Around 1.30am, the surges became strong and frequent enough to wake me up. “This is it!” I thought. When the surges were 5 minutes apart, I nudged Ben up. “Get ready to head to the hospital,” I whispered. As we walked out the front door, Ben praised himself for being so calm. (Ben, self praise is no praise). As for me, I was in meditation mode, observing the thoughts floating in my head: “The children will finally see their little brother/sister today! How exciting! Oh, oh, a surge is coming. Breathe… OK. Drink some water now.”
A Quiet Wait
At around 3am, I checked in at the hospital. Took a wee and got settled in the labour room. Ben reminded the nurses on duty of our Birth Plan. They kindly went through the plan with us.
They then connected me to the fetal monitor and timed my surges. Apparently this was a necessary procedure before they called the doctor. 4 surges within 10 minutes. Wonderful! Maybe baby will come out within an hour. (This expectation was built in as my second child was birthed within 2 hours after my birth show).
But with every half an hour of intermittent monitoring, the surges became less frequent, though more intense.
Hubby kept me hydrated and fed me some of the fruits and nuts mix we had brought along with us. He tried humoring me with lame jokes. He held my hand for comfort. Massaged me. I appreciated his efforts. But I was too focused on the sensations in my body to reward him with a smile or a word.
At 4.30am, the nurse did my first VE as instructed by the doctor. Curious, I asked how dilated I was. 4-5cm, she replied.
I asked when the doctor would be in. Around 9am, she said.
I started losing count of the hours that went by. Drifted in and out of deep relaxation as I continued listening to Rainbow Relaxation. I breathed through each surge, visualizing that they were bringing baby closer to me. Then at one point I thought - To hell with whatever this lady (Marie Mongan) is saying! Gimme epidural!!! It was a battle of the mind. I reminded myself to let nature unfold itself. I visualized a birthing giraffe in the African Savannah (A scene from a BBC documentary not long ago. It was so beautiful, I cried). If a giraffe can safely birth, alone, why not I, a human being, more superior in the mind than other creatures on earth?
At 6.30am, another VE was done. 7cm dilated. It seemed that this would take longer than expected. So I went for another wee.
A new shift came at 7am. The nurse, Natasha, was really nice and she coached me to breathe through my surges. I asked her if she reckoned baby will come soon.
“Do you feel like you want to poop?”
“Mm..Not really. Only when the surges come,” I answered. Which meant baby was not ready to come out yet.
At 8.50am, Dr. Nick came by. Wow. Has it already been 9 hours since my birth show? I wanted to use the birthing ball in the room to get into a more comfortable position. But doctor said that baby’s position was low already. He suggested walking or taking a wee instead. But when I sat on the toilet bowl, I felt like pooping! Baby was just there at the entrance! A nurse helped me back to the bed. Dr. Nick asked if he could do a VE. 10cm. Alleluia!
Breathing out Baby
The room quietly filled up with people. No rushing about. No barking instructions. No beeping monitor in the background. I felt strangely comforted by everyone’s presence. Finally! This is it! We are so close now. No turning back. I breathed through the first set of surges. Then the next. Let's try for an en caul birth, doctor suggested. On my third attempt, my water broke in spectacular fashion. No more en caul birth, I joked to the room. Doctor said another 1 or 2 set of surges and baby will be out. Everyone was expectant, calm and patient. Was it only me who wanted baby out so badly? During my fourth attempt, Ben excitedly exclaimed that he could see the top of baby’s head. Oh God. Only the crown?! When the fifth set of surges came, instead of breathing baby down, I pushed. And cried out. Oops. I knew I was supposed to conserve my energy and just breathe. But it worked! Baby’s head came out. “Blow. Hoooo!” doctor instructed. I cried out again. And blew. “Hoooo!”
“It’s a girl!” Ben announced.
Conclusion
“Birth time: 9.34am,” someone said.
I could see everyone’s faces glowing with joy. I guess it happens every time anyone sees someone give life.
Baby gave a soft cry and was immediately passed to me for skin-to-skin bonding. Hubby took off his clothes to join in the fun. But he was ignored for the moment as I tried to get baby to latch on to me.
Somehow, the placenta was also birthed naturally within minutes. The cord stopped pulsating and hubby happily cut it. At 9.46am, my dad called to check up on how we were progressing. By then, everything was cleaned and cleared away already. How very efficient.
For the next one hour we just oohed and aahed as baby suckled away.
I was high and energetic throughout the day. We were discharged on the day itself. As much as I enjoyed the excellent hospital food and service, I was even happier to go home and did not have to stay the night.
Key Takeaway: Some Thoughts
Birth = Gentle + Peaceful + Beautiful. I achieved the calm and gentle natural birth I wanted.
All births are different. I expected a short labour but it ended up being 9.5 hours. Nevertheless, HypnoBirthing helped me to trust my body. It is empowering to know that I am in control instead of at the mercy of modern medicine. At the same time, HypnoBirthing prepped me to be open to whichever way my birthing turns.
I am grateful for eventually choosing a hospital birth instead of home birth. Admittedly, the intermittent monitoring and VE distracted me from achieving deep relaxation. But it offered Ben and I peace of mind in knowing how my labour was progressing. Ben also had the opportunity to teach the staff some HypnoBirthing lingo like surges instead of contractions, sensations instead of pain. He was lucky that the cleaning up was done by others instead of him!
I am also grateful for the guidance Dr. Nick offered in breathing down/blowing out baby. He never instructed me to push. Instead, he calmly asked me to breathe like how I was taught to. As a result, I have no tears and stitches at all. None. All the preparations paid off!
If a giraffe can do it, I can too and so can you!
The room quietly filled up with people. No rushing about. No barking instructions. No beeping monitor in the background. I felt strangely comforted by everyone’s presence. Finally! This is it! We are so close now. No turning back. I breathed through the first set of surges. Then the next. Let's try for an en caul birth, doctor suggested. On my third attempt, my water broke in spectacular fashion. No more en caul birth, I joked to the room. Doctor said another 1 or 2 set of surges and baby will be out. Everyone was expectant, calm and patient. Was it only me who wanted baby out so badly? During my fourth attempt, Ben excitedly exclaimed that he could see the top of baby’s head. Oh God. Only the crown?! When the fifth set of surges came, instead of breathing baby down, I pushed. And cried out. Oops. I knew I was supposed to conserve my energy and just breathe. But it worked! Baby’s head came out. “Blow. Hoooo!” doctor instructed. I cried out again. And blew. “Hoooo!”
“It’s a girl!” Ben announced.
Conclusion
“Birth time: 9.34am,” someone said.
I could see everyone’s faces glowing with joy. I guess it happens every time anyone sees someone give life.
Baby gave a soft cry and was immediately passed to me for skin-to-skin bonding. Hubby took off his clothes to join in the fun. But he was ignored for the moment as I tried to get baby to latch on to me.
Somehow, the placenta was also birthed naturally within minutes. The cord stopped pulsating and hubby happily cut it. At 9.46am, my dad called to check up on how we were progressing. By then, everything was cleaned and cleared away already. How very efficient.
For the next one hour we just oohed and aahed as baby suckled away.
I was high and energetic throughout the day. We were discharged on the day itself. As much as I enjoyed the excellent hospital food and service, I was even happier to go home and did not have to stay the night.
Key Takeaway: Some Thoughts
Birth = Gentle + Peaceful + Beautiful. I achieved the calm and gentle natural birth I wanted.
All births are different. I expected a short labour but it ended up being 9.5 hours. Nevertheless, HypnoBirthing helped me to trust my body. It is empowering to know that I am in control instead of at the mercy of modern medicine. At the same time, HypnoBirthing prepped me to be open to whichever way my birthing turns.
I am grateful for eventually choosing a hospital birth instead of home birth. Admittedly, the intermittent monitoring and VE distracted me from achieving deep relaxation. But it offered Ben and I peace of mind in knowing how my labour was progressing. Ben also had the opportunity to teach the staff some HypnoBirthing lingo like surges instead of contractions, sensations instead of pain. He was lucky that the cleaning up was done by others instead of him!
I am also grateful for the guidance Dr. Nick offered in breathing down/blowing out baby. He never instructed me to push. Instead, he calmly asked me to breathe like how I was taught to. As a result, I have no tears and stitches at all. None. All the preparations paid off!
If a giraffe can do it, I can too and so can you!
